This past year has been predominated by sex scandals of the high and mighty: Anthony Weiner’s texting, Arnold Schwarznegger’s love child, Dominique Strauss-Kahn’s hotel shenanigans.  And think about all the other politicians brought down by their rowdy behavior.  Bill Clinton, Elliot Spitzer, John Edwards, Jim McGreevy, Marc Sanford – even the President of the State of Israel, convicted of rape.  Lest you think this only affects elected officials, remember athletes, like Tiger Woods, Lawrence Taylor, Isaiah Thomas, and Mike Tyson.  Not even the clergy are free from sexual indiscretions –  Catholic Priests, Evangelical Preachers – and Rabbis also make the Hall of Shame for their inappropriate behavior.

What’s going on?  Are they putting something in the water?  How do we explain all these cases of “Boys Behaving Badly”?

There is, of course, a simple explanation: “Men are pigs!”  But I’m thinking that there must be a more Kosher way of understanding what’s been dominating the news day after day.  Some look to Evolution.  It’s really all about survival of the species.  Males – be they animal or human – are wired to spread their seed and insure the proliferation of their offspring.  Others look to Chemistry – there are high levels of testosterone in ambitious people, which leads to domination, aggression, and sexual desire.  Still others say it has more to do with brain anatomy; men have fewer long-range neural connectors than women, and that means they focus more on the here and now, while women are able to see long-range consequences of their actions (and thus stay out of trouble).  There is of course the psychological explanation – These are men going through a mid-life crisis, in desperate need of affirming their virility and vitality – albeit in a destructive way.  And there are those who look for a sociological reason for the sexual promiscuity. We live in a “Me-first” culture.  If it feels good, do it, and don’t give a second thought to who you’re going to hurt along the way.

All of these explanations lead me to a theological question: If you’re a religious person, who believes in a benevolent God who created human beings, how do you explain why God made us in such a way that leads to so much pain and trouble?  “Hey, God – what were you thinking?”

Some religions teach that sex is evil, created by the devil to tempt us, and to bring us down.  That’s how Christians explain what happened to Adam and Eve in the garden of Eden, and why they refer to it as “original sin”.  If you give into sexual temptation, you’re going to Hell.  It’s why the New Testament says celibacy is the best way, and why priests and nuns, who are closest to God, cannot marry.

Others say that God created us as sexual beings, which must mean that sex is a good thing.  It’s God’s way of getting men to be interested in women – otherwise, we’d spend all of our time on the couch watching football, or out in the garage, tinkering with the carburetor.

So which is it?  I’ve got this image in my mind of God, on the last day of creation, feverishly working on making Adam.  God’s desperately trying to finish His work before Shabbes, but this being He’s created is a very complicated creature.  I picture God fine-tuning Adam’s libido – He turns the screw this way and Adam is all-sex, all-the-time.  God turns the screw back the other way, and the man is totally asexual.  At that minute, the sun is setting so God turns the screw somewhere to the middle, puts away His toolbox, and goes to wash His hands and lights the shabbes candles.  “Well” God says, “he’ll have to work it all out on his own…”  And that’s why we are the way we are: Fascinated by sex, and yet frustrated by it; drawn to it, and sometimes undone by it.

What’s the Jewish view about human sexuality?  In the Talmud (Ber. 61a), Rav Nahman bar Rav Hisda points to what seems to be a spelling mistake on the Book of Genesis.  It says “God formed man” and the Hebrew is “VA-YEE-TZER… ET HA-ADAM.”  Usually, the word VA-YEE-TZER is spelled with one YUD.  Here, there are two.  Rav Nahman sees this not as an error, but as a hint of a deeper meaning.   The letter YUD stands for the word “Yetzer” – inclination.  The two Yuds are to teach us that the human being that God created has two different inclinations.  Yetzer Ha-Tov – a good inclination, a selfless side, an altruistic personality.  And a Yetzer Ha Ra – an evil inclination, a selfish side, predicated on the pleasure principle.

Why would God do this?  What good can come from implanting in man an evil inclination?

In the Midrash (Gen Rabba 9,7) Rav Shmuel bar Nahman explains: Were it not for man’s selfish side, no one would ever build a house, engage in commerce, or take a wife.  We might be content just sleeping in the trees like our simian ancestors - Instead we build a beautiful house filled with gorgeous things – that we can show off and be proud of.  We might stay home and just eat fruit off the trees – instead we go out to work to make a living so we have the money to afford things that bring us pleasure.  We might choose to just remain on our own, instead we are sexually attracted to someone else, so we can form a family and bring children into the world.

Where did God come up with this idea of people with dueling natures – a good side and a bad side, each bringing something important and indispensable to the mix?  Although I can’t be certain, I’m pretty sure God came up with the concept after watching an episode of the original TV series Star Trek.

Scotty was beaming up Captain Kirk from a planet to the Enterprise when the transporter malfunctioned, splitting the captain into two separate James Kirks – one good and one bad.  The good Kirk was loving, compassionate and tender, but incapable of making the hard decisions required of a star-ship captain.  The bad Kirk was a drunk, violent and a sexual predator ready to destroy anyone who got in his way.  At first, it seems that the solution to the problem is to simply get rid of the bad twin.  But it is Mr. Spock who recognizes that that can’t be done.  “It is his negative side which makes you strong” Spock explains to the good Kirk.  “His evil side, properly controlled and disciplined is vital to your strength.”  The good captain is too weak to lead, and the bad one too self-centered to care about anyone but himself.  Scotty fixes the transporter, and the good Kirk enters with the bad twin, and they are beamed off the ship.  When Scotty reverses the switch – one captain returns, the two sides of him having been merged into one body. 

I don’t know which came first – Genesis, or Star Trek, but they both present the same idea: That human beings are a combination of two very different natures.  Our angelic half is constantly struggling with our animal half.  Who better than Spock – or God – to teach us what’s required of us is control and discipline.

What’s true about sex is true about other aspects of our lives.

Most of us struggle with food and diet.  We eat something we love – and have a tough time saying “no” to seconds, or thirds… I watch the show “Man vs. Food” with fascination – and revulsion, as the host wolfs down one serving after another of delicious dishes.  I’m reminded that he’s just one step away from the Roman Vomitorium – where diners would eat until they were full, go into a special room to purge, and then come back to the banquet to start all over again.  The Jewish religion, on the other hand, tries to raise the level of a meal from the biological, to the spiritual.  Certain foods are off-limits; we’re careful about the pain the animal will experience; we begin and end with prayers; and we’re reminded to make sure the poor have what to eat.

The same is true of liquor and alcohol.  I’ll never forget being 12 and seeing my Zayde coming home from work on a freezing cold evening.  He immediately went to the liquor cabinet and took out a bottle of shnaps to warm himself.  He poured a glass – but before he drank it, I heard him whisper a Bracha: BARUCH ATA ADONAI ELOHAYNU MELEKH HA-OLAM, SHEH-HA-KOL NI-HE-YE BIDVARO – “Praised is God who created everything”.  Down went the shnaps and then away went the bottle.  That moment taught me more about religion than six years of Rabbinical School.  On the other hand, not too far from any bar, lies a drunk, passed out in the gutter, covered in his own puke.

Think about anger.  There is something called “righteous indignation”.  It’s when we’re so upset by injustice that we channel our anger in a constructive way and we end up making the world a better place.  Rosa Parks was pretty angry when she refused to move to the back of the bus.  If we never got upset about anything, nothing would ever change.  And then, there’s road rage, where we lose our temper and try to kill someone – because they cut us off on the highway.

Or how about gambling.  A man is standing in a casino, betting his paycheck on the roll of a dice.  But there’s another kind of gambling – when you take out a mortgage on a new home, or ask the bank for a loan to start a new business, or cast your vote in a presidential election.  You’re betting on the future – and that kind of gambling is what keeps our world going.

And the same is true of sex.  On it’s own, it is neither good, nor bad.  The key is the context in which it takes place.  Rape and prostitution are particularly horrible; pornography and seduction are ugly and dishonest.  Casual sex makes something significant into something trivial.  On the other hand, sex can be an expression of love and the source of pleasure for those in a loving relationship.  I’m reminded of one of the great lessons about sex.  It came from Roger Staubach, Quarterback of the Dallas Cowboys back in the 70’s.  Staubach had a reputation as a squeaky-clean, born again Christian.  And he was often contrasted with the quarterback of the Jets – “Broadway Joe” who lived a wild lifestyle.  Staubach told an interviewer” “I enjoy sex just as much as Joe Namath.  Only I do it with one girl – my wife.”  Sex is not evil, to be avoided lest we lose our souls.  But neither is it a sport, to be played like a game, leaving casualties in its wake.

Jewish tradition itself seems to say  we need to hear about sex on the holiest day of the year.  We recite the Al Het confessional ten times in the course of the day, and three of the sins we confess are explicitly sexual; Giluy Arayot (sexual immorality), Vi edat Znut (forbidden trysts) and Yetzer Ha Ra (pursuing the impulse to evil).

And the Torah reading on Yom Kippur afternoon – taken from Leviticus, chapter 18 – is entirely about sex.  It speaks about when to have sex, and is specifies with whom.  Our new Mahzor even adds a contemporary sexual code of ethics to the ancient one we read in the Torah:

“All sexual activity between people must be consensual.  No person shall abuse, exploit, control, humiliate, do violence to, or harm another human being physically, emotionally, or in any other way in the course of sexual expression.  Each person must take responsibility for the consequences of sexual activity, including pregnancy and children.  Sexuality shall not be used as an expression of status or power and no person shall use status or power to gain consent for sexual activity…” (P. 364)

The end of the Minhah Torah reading says: “Abhorrent things were done by the people who were in the land before you, and the land became defiled.  So let not the land spew you out for defiling it… (18:27-28).

The Torah is saying: Sexual sins defile the land, which will then spew you out.  At first, I wasn’t sure what this meant.

But then, listening to the Broadway musical ‘Cabaret’, I was reminded that the theme of the show is the connection between the sexual immorality portrayed in the musical numbers at the Kit Kat Klub (and the lives of the main characters) and the rise of Nazism in Germany in the 1930’s.

As sexual promiscuity became widespread in the culture, there was a breakdown in other values, leading to fascism, violence – and ultimately genocide.  When all restraints are abandoned in one realm, the play warns us, they will ultimately be dropped in every other realm.  Cabaret, critics say, was not really about the history of Nazi Germany in the 30’s; rather, it attempted to hold a mirror to America in the 60’s: Is it a coincidence that the decade that saw a rejection of conventional sexual morality also saw incredible levels of violence from Mississippi in the south, to Chicago in the north; from the assassinations in Dallas and L.A. and Memphis to the horrors committed by the Manson Family.

Yes, America survived the Tumult of the 60’s.  But four decades later we’re witnessing another breakdown in sexual morality.  Think about the availability of porn to our children online, or on cable, the epidemic of teenagers sexting naked pictures of themselves – and those pictures going viral; The sexualization of young girls – in the way they are permitted to dress, and to act, the way that casual sex is portrayed in moves and on TV with the message: This is normal,; this is what you should be doing.

It’s tough to be a parent today, to try to inculcate one set of values in our children when everything around them entices them with another set.

What wisdom can we pass on to our kids?

If you open up the Mishnah – the first Rabbinic code of Jewish law, and turn to Pirkay Avot, Chapters of the Fathers, a collection of Rabbinic wisdom and ethics, you’ll see a teaching by Rabbi Yehuda Ha-Nasi, leader of the Jewish people in the land of Israel around the year 200.  He tells us: “Weigh the gain of doing a sin against the loss.”

If only Elliot Spitzer, and Anthony Weiner and Dominique Strauss-Kahn had stayed in Hebrew School after their Bar Mitzvahs, and if only they had studied a little Mishnah with their Rabbi, and if only they would have thought about this teaching before they gave the girl the credit card, or pushed “send” on the cell-phone, or grabbed the maid in the hotel room.  “Yes!  What I’m about to do seems really exciting… and I anticipate it bringing me pleasure.  But how will this hurt my wife?  And what will my kids think of me?  And what will this do to my career?  And how will I ever be able to look in the mirror again with any kind of self-respect?  And what will it be like to see my face plastered all over the papers, and have people mock me on TV?  And what will it be like to be remembered - forever more, including in the first line of my obituary – for some momentary thrill?”  Had they only taken Rabbi Yehuda Ha-Nasi’s advice, Weiner could have been a U.S. Senator one day, Dominique Strauss-Kahn the President of France, and Spitzer the first Jewish President of the United States.  A chance for greatness traded away, for what?

And yet, most human beings struggle so much with what seems an obvious choice – if not sexually, then with diet, or drink, or anger – or something else.

Here’s another teaching to keep in mind, also from Pirkay Avot.  Shimon ben Zoma asked: “Who is strong?  The one who controls his Yetzer HaRa.”  You can be a 98 pound weakling, but if your evil inclination, your selfish instincts tell you – “Go!” and you’re able to say “No!” – you’re the strongest person in the world.

Let me tell you about two other politicians.  Let’s call the first one “Dave”.  He was a war hero, a talented musician and very charismatic.  He was elected to high office.  Married and divorced a couple of times.  Fell madly in love with his neighbor’s wife.  Committed adultery.  Arranged to have her husband – a soldier – sent out to a fierce battle, where he was killed.  In the end, his kids hated him, he was manipulated by all the people around him, and the one thing he wanted to accomplish for his legacy – was denied him, because of his indiscretion.  You know him as King David. 

Second guy - let’s call him “Joe”.  An expert in the commodities market – especially in wheat futures.  As a side line, he also was very good at dream interpretation.  One day, his boss’s wife tried to seduce him.  Here he was, a young healthy man, lonely and far away from home – being offered a fantasy come true.  But he was loyal to his boss; others say he was scared of getting caught.  It later came out that at the moment of temptation – he said he saw his father’s face, saying “Don’t make me ashamed of you.”  Joe went on to a storied career, saving his country as well as his own family.  And he is known in our history, for that moment of making the right choice, as Yosef Ha-Tzadik – Joseph, the Righteous.

It’s the end of the first half of a football game. The teams retreat to the dressing room.  There they rest (and catch their breaths) they review the action so far (trying to correct their mistakes) and they resolve to go out and play a better second half (usually with a pep-talk and a prayer).

Yom Kippur comes in the seventh month of the Jewish year; literally half time.  We come into this room – to rest after a pretty tough six months out there.  We review what’s gone on so far – by reciting the AL HET and mentally checking off which sins and errors we’ve committed.  And with a pep-talk – and a prayer, we resolve to go out and have a better second half.

We can’t know for sure what the coming year will hold for us, but one thing we may be certain: we will be faced with many challenges.

And as we move to make choices, we will find our dual natures at war within us: The Yelzer HaRa our selfish side urging us to do one thing, the Yitzer HaTov our selfless side counseling us to go another way.

May God give us the wisdom to recognize Right from Wrong, and to understand what’s on the line.

And may God give us the strength to make the right choices in the year ahead.